Divorce, know your options and what support is out there for you and your family.

Although not the easiest topic to discuss divorce affects a large number of families. 43% of marriages in the uk end in divorce so we think it is important to know your options for support and legal advice. Below we will discuss the help and services on offer in hope of easing the stress a separation can bring. 

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The breakdown of a marriage can be one of the most difficult situations a family can encounter. Not only is this a tough time emotionally but on top of that there is the added pressure of planning for the future. This often leads couples to feel further strain in the relationship and resentment towards the breakup and position they are now in. A couple whether parents or not shouldn’t feel alone and unsupported during this time, and this is where family mediation comes in.

How can Family mediation resolve issues and support parents and children when a marriage breaks down? 

It can feel overwhelming on where to start when in the midst of divorce. Taking legal action straight away can upset those involved and can cause further distress as emotional needs may seem disregarded. Family mediation groups and services offer the option of a third party – the mediator who acts as a non-biased problem solver. Mediation focuses on fairness and care. It is in place to resolve issues without the anxiety of going through a legal process. Looking at the family dynamic a mediation service will accommodate each member’s feelings and needs. Family mediation is now a recognised important and valuable stage of a separation to support children’s and couple’s needs. 

How can I find the right service for my family?

It is important that your family gets the right help through a divorce. Finding local and individually tailored help is crucial to feel supported.  There are also many great Family Mediation groups that offer online services for those who can not travel or have time restrictions.

Are you Oxford based?

Family meditation and mentoring is a specialised service based in Oxford run by Racheal Oakes and Claire Colbert. Both Racheal and Claire have qualifications in law and therapy and have more than 20 years of experience in this field. What makes Family Mediation and mentoring stand out is the quality of care and the offer of flexible and tailored services. They are also able to offer zoom meetings and online services if that is your preference.  

Taking all matters into account Family mediation and mentoring specialise in protecting children affected by divorce and provide children with a voice in the process where appropriate. They are also part of the government family mediation voucher scheme. This scheme is in place to help families with the financial strain of divorce. The government puts £500 towards the costs for the family to create a detailed parenting plan with the help of the mediator.

How can family mediation ensure a child retains a sense of security?

Children can experience and sustain psychological damage as an effect of their parents going through a traumatic divorce. A mediator can help couples to create a fair parenting plan to secure a good foundation for a child’s future. 

Family mediation and mentoring recognise the importance of children carrying on their hobbies/after school clubs to maintain a sense of normality and routine. These activities can be costly and take up time. Mediation leads to weighing up the affordability and impact on the child. If one parent has a higher income and can accommodate, they will often look at a way of setting this up as an extra in the child maintenance payments or as a separate stand-alone agreement. 

Mediation also focuses on time management and can offer realistic options on how parents can divide and spend time with their children without taking them away from their hobbies or time with friends. 

What else do I need to consider?

Will I need a solicitor as well as family mediation?

Mediation can help couples to stay away from the courtroom. In many successful cases family mediation and mentoring have been able to help couples come to agreements without legal action. This saves on costs, time and is confidential. 

Family mediation and mentoring also offer a hybrid lawyer assisted service for more complex cases where there may be high levels of conflict or domestic abuse. 

Support on legal advice or solicitor recommendations is also available and can be easily discussed with Racheal or Claire. 

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